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7th Day

I'm feeling anxious today and typically the antidote to that feeling is writing. I've taken liberties this morning at all my normal writing stations and thus far still feel unsatisfied, so I'll dump here for a bit as well, lucky you.

I'm beginning to think nothing will help. I shall blame my current agitations on an extended bout of insomnia, lucky me.

I've been thinking about what Marc wrote in his comment from the below entry.

Marc from Le Trash Whisperer wrote, " I have a similar yearning for the hero's of Jane Austen novels. Of course, the question is, is what makes them so desirable the very fact of their unavailability, in that all-encompassing way?"

Yes. Yes. And *sigh* Probably.

I've been toying with your thought since you wrote it. I blame and credit writers.

A good writer understands that to reach in and toy with peoples emotions is a clear path to our hearts. Through the art of illusion that writers should participate in, it seems only natural to caress the senses of a readers most basic human condition.

~The need to be seen, cherished, protected and loved.~

A great writer will satisfy, usually after toying and teasing it out, all the needs of their fictional characters. Writers can't leave us readers hanging with the realities of life's little slices of loneliness. No one needs to taste that more then we already do.

Since I'm feeling like everyone is lucky today, I'll use myself as an example here for a moment. I'm 36, been married, been divorced, never really been single for more then a month and have had enough lovers to consider myself 'experienced' enough to blanket remark on my life's little realities.

Honestly, I don't feel like any of the men I've ever loved have actually 'seen' me. One I will grant, came close, but that book falls into the Greek tragedy genre. Seen, as in the way a writer can make their character see his leading lady. Truth is, they just never continued asking questions. They have all accepted me for what I gave on the surface, but didn't continue with a quest to know the all encompasssing. To this day I still find it remarkable only one man in my life has ever asked, "Hey, can I read what it is your writing all the damn time...." (Is it just me, or isn't that strange?)

Fictional hero's drag everything out of their ladies whether they want to spill the beans or not.

I don't blame the Men in my life for this oversight, or unrealized secondary pieces of me. The fact I don't believe I've ever felt anything that resembled all encompassing is because I remain in reality. I know love, in it's boundless glory and until I discover something different, I'll simply cherish that gift. It seems to me that people are generally happy and content with surface and sometimes the less they see the safer their own little world can remain. I understand that. Accept it. We all play off what we feel needs to be given or taken, a writer simply forces the issue and completes the whole package (i) deal.

If I was writing my own hero, for my own book of reality, I'd have my hero give me a music box that played Clair De Lune just because he thought that would make me smile. My hero would ask me endless questions and actually listen. He would ask me about what I was writing all the time. He wouldn't throw a letter or note I wrote him in the garbage. He would always put his hand on the small of my back when we were standing next to each other and every night when we slept he would let me rest my head on his chest so that even if I couldn't fall asleep, I could listen to the sound of his heartbeat.

I would think.....Such simplicity...............

Hence, Writers created unavailable Hero's on the seventh day.............

24 Additional Thoughts:

IMO, the writer is the most insecure creature to walk the planet. It is our nature. And it goes beyond just approval of the written word, we want to be loved for who we are and what we say, and anything short of adulation leaves us wanting. So we curl up in our impregnable shells and feed ourselves with our own words. I'm afraid that, if I was truly head over heels in love with someone who levoed me back perfectly, I'd never write another word because I wouldn't have the time.


November 25, 2008 3:32 PM  

It's a remarkable thing to encounter that person who completely "gets" you. Usually it's a good friend, but if we're very lucky, it will be our mate.

November 25, 2008 4:28 PM  

As a Romantic, I know you will not give up. You will find the right person to cherish all of you :o)

November 25, 2008 4:41 PM  

"It seems to me that people are generally happy and content with surface and sometimes the less they see the safer their own little world can remain."

Damn have you been channeling me again...

I think if anyone truly did get past the surface it might scare the hell out of them. There are moments rare ones when Paul manages to scrape the surface and get a glimpse of what lies beneath.

Writing is the closest I've ever come to even giving those glimpses. I would love for someone to see that depth to me, yet I guard it so insanely.

Maybe as Beth said, a friend can see more than someone we share the intimacy with. It's often said love is blind. In some areas of our lives blind isn't so bad. Do we really want them to see, truly see what lies beneath? It's a nice dream, but I don't think in my case any way there is anyone who could truly handle it.


November 25, 2008 4:49 PM  

You express a sentiment I've heard from many women, and I think it's at least partly evolutionary. Women require a greater degree of empathy in order to understand what a baby/child is going through. Men who are too empathetic would have trouble hunting and killing, which is necessary to survival. (We are still operating, after all, with the brains and bodies of early homosapiens, even if our culture has changed.) This creates a real dilemma, a sense of mutual misundertanding. (In prison, the guys used to ask me to write love letters to their girlfriends, because I had no trouble "getting" them at all.) One of the pleasures of the writer is that we can fulfill those fantasies of complete connection on the page, one of our curses it the sense of deflation at the inability to find it in reality. Not that some don't--but I rarely find myself particularly envious of the relationships of those who claim they have. Jane Austen never found it, nor Emily Dickinson, so you're in good companies. Some gay couples I know come close, but with that meeting of minds usually comes a loss of sexual tension. If you found the kind of man who REALLY "got" you, you might also find a man who starting thinking of you only vertically.
Love is a bitch, ain't it?

November 25, 2008 5:11 PM  

"A good writer understands that to reach in and toy with peoples emotions is a clear path to our hearts. Through the art of illusion that writers should participate in, it seems only natural to caress the senses of a readers most basic human condition."

This is ABSOLUTELY right. And the romantic in me is saying that you will find the one person who matches you in everything, the one person who just fits together with you as one. I never thought I would believe that, but I do.


November 25, 2008 6:43 PM  

You hit the nail on the head about how some writers evoke so much reality in some of their characters, to make us feel we know them, wish we could meet them. Leave us wishing we could see them the next day when the last page has already been read and the book closed.

As to reality, my world.... Nearly 25 years married and Pete knows me and parts of me that still surprise me. But there are some things about me I think he still can't see and could never see. But it doesn't bother me. Maybe because I am that sure of who I am in myself. Maybe I think not "getting" parts of me keeps it/me more interesting to him. But I think a chunk of it is that others around me see one part or another he doesn't....and my precious Jesus sees and knows me to the very core of me. More than I know me.

November 25, 2008 6:54 PM  

I don't know if I would want anyone to see beneath the surface. To many details would allow him to much power to hurt us if he wanted. *M*

November 25, 2008 9:53 PM  

You know, many people don't want to take an interest in the hobbies or important things in a partner's life. The more complex and individual is the less someone is going to want to tackle their inner phyche to see what makes them tick and why. People are such an interesting case study all the time. I see so many different types to the torally transparent to the wildly veiled secretive type. You obviously fall well in between, but still I see the complexity to you, the intelligence you possess and maybe in some of these men they found themselves a bit intimidated by your persona. Just a thought. I find you simply inspiring to become a better writer and reading you isn't very hard for me to do. Hopefully someone will enter your life that will stimulate the biggest sense of all within you, your intellect. Have a happy tomorrow. : )

November 25, 2008 10:16 PM  

Rebecca Anne:

I discovered you by way of Beth, and I'm not dissapointed. Your writing is well put, I found what you said about writers very true. You write very beautifully, and express yourself very clearly.

To this day I have never had any adults ask to see what I was writing! That includes my wife Lisa, don't get me wrong she has asked me what am I writing? Not can I read it when you get done? I feel there is a difference between the two?

I have been writing Children's books for our daughter Malayna Jane, and have illustrated a couple. I still write some poetry, but mainly on my blog. Since MJ and life being the way it is, I write when I can. I write all day long in my head and when I dream I write. Do you do that too?

I know you don't know me, but you know Beth. She was the first person I started reading, and now I'm slowly reaching out to others. I wish to thank you for your entry, and hope you have a Good Thanksgiving!


November 26, 2008 2:04 AM  

My Todd gets me and I get him. The best thing about being in love with your best friend is that they help make a better you and encourage you to write or paint or feed whatever the creative heart of you is begging you to do and you seem to do it better. At least that's my experience thus far! Todd is my greatest fan!

November 26, 2008 6:09 AM  

I'm sure this isn't the first one, but I've awarded you the Marie Antoinette "real people, real blogs" award. Stop on by! Hugs.

November 26, 2008 6:34 AM  

To be in that all embracing, all encompassing relationship, that really 'get" each other, is that possible, like "Higher Love?" Sometimes, I've had glimspses and smidgens of that, and I'll treasure those very few relationships forever. And now I ponder, and I accept, for I am happy with my boyfriend, for example, really, but.

November 26, 2008 8:24 AM  

Oh, I wanted to add -- for a guy to date you, be a friend, et al, that supposed closeness, and this being with YOU, who I assume everyone knows you cannot stop writing, for only ONE to ask if he could read what you wrote, the others to not even ASK? Yeah, I think that's a bit odd, too.

November 26, 2008 8:26 AM  

Rebecca...I liked your musings today usual...but...sorry to say, as a man myself, us men will never realy know the inner workings of women, or women will never truely never realy know the real inner man. We as humans tend to keep some of our inner selves secret even to our significant others..and even to oursleves.


November 26, 2008 5:10 PM  

If only one has asked to see your writing them then you are right, they didn't know half of Rebecca Anne. What a loss for them. It's like having gold buried in your back yard, right under your nose, but choosing not to mine it.

November 27, 2008 7:33 AM  

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving!

November 27, 2008 7:33 AM  

My husband reads everything I write in spite of it not being what he usually enjoys reading. He goes to a lot of trouble to help me realize my dream of being a writer and he puts up with the moods I am in when the writing isn't going the way I want it. I am not sure if he knows me or if I know him but we love each other and we respect each other. We have hobbies that we do together and others that we do individually. I personally think the reason that we still are a good match and are still in love (after 24 of my 40 years) is that we never stopped talking. So many relationships around me broke up because the partners weren't talking any more. They only exchanged everyday niceties and that's not the same.

November 27, 2008 8:25 AM  

I am new to your blog and I appreciate your style and delivery.

Ah...I love your writing and I find I can place myself in the role of feeling...there go I ...Or yes, I have been there.
I love the line...
Hence Writers created the unavailable hero's on the seventh day....

November 27, 2008 10:10 PM  

Who told you about my life? Your words remind me of the lines from a Roberta Flack song, "he was strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words." Somewhere along the way, we've walked the same path. I wonder if the all encompassing is only possible in the fictional worlds created in the imaginations of writers.

November 29, 2008 5:22 PM  

I can't say that I've ever been in a relationship before, but I can say I ask alot of questions. To the point where everyone says i'm nosy. Maybe i'm asking the wrong people LOL. Now all I have to do is find a girlfriend. LMAO

December 06, 2008 8:45 AM  

I love that idea. Awesome Post.

January 20, 2018 5:12 AM  

Amazing amount of great, actionable advice. I will keep coming back to this Post....

February 22, 2018 3:52 AM  

Thank you, that was just an awesome post!!!

March 23, 2018 6:58 AM  

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